this year is sooo bad...cos each time i see my other half in pain...my heart breaks...and its soo frequently that he has been getting all his ailments and sickness...

I've always prepared myself mentally...even b4 i marry him...on how I would be if he leaves the world first...hope that the Pessimist me will be proven wrong...I do not mind going first but looking at my strong genes I will stay on donkey years...

the worse scenerio is when Boo cries when she realises her dad is in pain...her love for him is even stronger than hers for me...and I'm not a bit jealous...for at least my daughter can experience deep pure love from her daddy someting that I lost all my life...I really hope god grants my wish to enable me to have a complete family for longest of time which has been taken away from me since birth...

All I can do is hope and pray.....if you're reading this baby...pls know that I love you and I belive that you can overcome all the hurdles as you're stronger than me...